Blogger challenge week 2 - Positivity

This weeks challenge is to look at what I am actually TAKING up? What am I giving myself? Am I learning something new? Taking up a new sport? Giving myself a social life?

Leeana said in her introduction to this topic that often when you start a journey which is about weightloss you often focus on the things that you are giving up - lollies, chocolate, cake, takeaway, creamy pasta,  curry with rice etc.  Sometimes you do feel like you are missing out, you see someone else eating a piece of cake with icecream and think "why can't I have that? It's not fair!" you have days when you feel like you are denying yourself a simple pleasure in life.  But it has been getting easier and easier to not want those things - my sweet tooth is now happy with fruit or yoghurt.   I enjoy the food I am eating, I get to cook fresh produce, I like it when my stomach is not so full every night after dinner.  I am giving myself a body that is nourished not full of easy food but healthy food!  And that is just the start!

I think I am giving myself hope - hope for a new life, hope for a family, hope for a healthy body and mind.  In the past I have felt hopeless, and I am turning that around and giving myself the hope that I deserve. 

I am giving myself permission to have confidence and to look forward to the future with many hopes and dreams and goals which I WILL reach. 

I have found a great support network on the 12wbt Capitial Punishment facebook page, and on the 12wbt site.  I have built deeper friendships with some of my friends who are now on this journey with me, either cheering me along or even doing the 12wbt with me. 

I am giving myself me time, I used to not want to go to the gym or do exercise by myself, now I really value the time alone - time just for me to clear my head and to focus on my needs and my body. 

 

Whirlsies blogger challenge week 1 - better late than never!

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.  What makes you, you?  I have just turned 33.  I am a teacher - was a high school art teacher, but I now teach primary school which I love even more.  I live with Lee, he is my housemate, best friend and a great support to me on this journey.  I love anything crafty and arty and I often use creativity to get out of my head and focus on something positive. 
2. Why did you decide to do the 12WBT?   Whirlsie (Leeana) told me about it and said she was thinking about doing it.  We had been trying to lose weight before this, but it wasn't working so well for us.  I am so thankful for finding the 12wbt and all the great people who are doing it too!
3. What are you hoping to achieve through the program?  Lose enough weight to be able to come off blood pressure medication.  Get to and maintain a healthy weight - which means losing about 25kg this round and will probably do another round for weight loss.  I would love to do the lean and fit or lean and strong programs after reaching goal weight!
4. Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?)  A bit of everything - but for me it is mainly mindset.  I am an emotional eater, especially if I get really stressed, and I want to work on this.  Staying positive is hard for me, I self-sabotage and I get into black holes where depression takes over and the "who cares anyway"  thinking kicks in.
5. How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture? Mixture of Gym classes, and outdoors with friends
6. What is your greatest strength that will help you? Gosh this is a hard one!  Maybe my stubborness? 
7. What are you afraid of?  Myself - failing because I get scared
8. What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks?  Feeling more energetic.  losing weight.  fitting into more clothes.  meeting new people.
9. What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?  Mindset and Food!  Plan plan plan plan plan!  be organised and have healthy options around me all the time.
10. If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?  PLAN!!!!  

Task 5: Say it out loud

and let the rave begin!!!

My commitment on the 12WBT forum:

I am committed to myself, to attacking these 12 weeks with all of my heart.
I have these 3 months to get as healthy and fit as I can – because ever since I remember I have wanted to be a mother. I started a journey to motherhood and got a big slap in the face. I never thought that being overweight was that much of a problem, you always see overweight people having children and I guess I just didn’t understand the risks and the complications associated with being overweight. I am overweight, unfit and on top of all of that I have at 32 found out that I have virtually no eggs left in my ovaries. I have no time left – I am on a waiting list for IVF (which strangely will take about 12 to 16 weeks) and to give myself the best chance I can get, I need to take care of myself, take control of my life and in the words of my lovely Dr “give it a red hot go” or I may miss out on to me is an essential part of life because of my past laziness, self indulgence and excuse making.
I commit to do whatever it takes to be a healthier person, to give myself the best possible outcomes in these 12 weeks. If I don’t I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive myself – nothing like a bit of pressure to get your arse moving

Task 4: Gear up

Gearing up = knowing how you are going to exercise and having the tools to do it.

I already have:

• Good shoes
• A gym membership
• a treadmill at home

I need to get:

• clothes to wear, long tops and well fitting pants that DO NOT fall down (this is so much harder than it sounds on my body shape)
• A good sports bra (ordered) may need to buy another one!!!
• A heart rate monitor (got this 2 days a go)

I should be set now!!!

Task 3: Set your goals

Goal setting is hard for me, I don't have much faith in goals.  It feels like I always make them and hardly ever actually follow through with them.  This time it has to be different.  I am accountable for these goals and I am making a commitment to reaching them all...  I have a really good reason to this time!

1 Month goals:

• run for 5 minutes
• follow the healthy eating plan to the letter
• cut out diet coke/pepsi max - already done!!!

I am gonna get there by:

• short jogs, intervals - build up time
• diarise, blog tweet everything. own my choices and my behaviour 
• drink tea, increase water intake

3 Month goals:

• Lose at least 10kg - would like to lose about 15kg by the end of the 12 week challenge and 20kg by the end of the year
• Run for 15 minutes non stop - push myself and get as fit as I can!

 I am gonna get there by:

• Not giving up when I face hurdles or if I trip up - perservere!
• Eatting well and clean
• Commit fully to the exercise program, exercise 6 days a week

My goals are going to take a bit of a curve from here, as I am undergoing IVF treatment in January so that I can try and have a baby.  So this is going to change my goals and focus from then on.  I want to get fit enough so that I can continue to exercise while pregnant, and hopefully the new habits I form will continue into pregnancy (if treatment etc works).  If IVF fails I will then need to re-evaluate my goals and continue on my weight loss journey.  Health is going to continue to be a long term goal no matter what the outcome is!

Task 2: Get Real

This task was a bit of an eye-opener for me.  The excuses I give myself every day as to why I don't eat well, or why I don't do any exercise are all side effects of my weight - depression, lack of energy, low self esteem etc.  It really is time to get off this negative round about and get onto a new one!

Internal excuses:

• I am too tired
• Who cares any way
• It is all just too hard
• people will look at me if I go to the gym because I am so fat

Solutions:

• Exercising and eating right will give me more energy and my depression will improve
• lots of people care about me and I need to start caring more about myselfbut being this overweight is hard, surely things will be easier if I am not
• chose my attitude: who gives a fuck if people do look at me, and at least I am doing something about it

External Excuses:  within my control

• It is too hot 
• I have nothing to wear to exercise
• I feel uncomfortable when I exercise
• My asthma will play up

Solutions:

• Airconditioning
• Go shopping and buy new bloody clothes!
• This will improve as I lose weight, my uncomfortable feeling is because of my tummy which will shrink...
• Take all of my asthma medication all of the time

External Excuses: out of my control

• My health - blood pressure, asthma
• Work commitments

Solutions:

• Just keep on going as it will help keep my bpressure under control, remember to take all of my medication regularly
• Just continue to eat well and do more exercise on a quieter day

Task 1: Introduce yourself

My introduction on the 12WBT forum:

Hi I am Carrie,
I have done so many diets in my time and I have had enough! I hope to lose at least 15kg to start off with, but I am new to this whole thing and I am not sure what to expect. Maybe I can lose even more!!!!
I need to lose about 35 – 40 kg, so this is my first step in a long journey.
I am a teacher and have been for about 10 years, but this year I have started teaching in a primary school and even though the kids are gorgeous they tell you the truth and they have no social boundaries. I have been asked a few times why I have such a big tummy this has really given me a bit of a kick up the bum!
I look forward to exercising and eating healthy, and having more energy. I am also looking forward to working with you all towards our goals, supporting and encouraging each other.
I can’t wait until the 12th of September!!!